I know many of you have read about independence in my summer blogs. Whether you’re sending your child to High Rocks or have a son at another camp, you’ve likely heard about how summer camp fosters independence in children. Today, I’d like to focus on this topic in more depth. This post will be helpful for parents considering summer camp at High Rocks, but you may also find some insights that resonate with you as an adult.
I recently came across a simple formula for a fulfilling life: independence + purpose. Purpose looks different for everyone, and we each choose our own path in life to find it. I could go on about purpose, but let’s focus on independence for now, as it’s far more universal.
I’m sure many parents have stories of working with their children to help them become more independent. For instance, my youngest daughter had a consistent fear of ordering food—whether from a waiter, a counterperson, or even the voice at the drive-thru. To save time and help her, my wife or I would ask what she wanted and relay it to the order taker. This went on for a while until we finally decided to put an end to it. There were many tears, frustrations, and moments of discomfort, but we stuck with it. She gained confidence, independence, and we could finally all eat together when we went out.
As parents, we often want to protect our children, help them avoid awkward situations, and make things easier for them. What I’ve learned, however, is that sometimes the best thing we can do is withhold our assistance and let them figure things out on their own. It’s tough, but it’s essential for their growth.
So, how does summer camp at High Rocks foster independence? There are many ways, but let’s focus on a few key ones:
One of the biggest challenges at High Rocks—and any summer camp—is the separation from parents. While this may be uncomfortable at first, it’s often exhilarating for children to experience autonomy for the first time. At camp, they practice self-sufficiency, decision-making, and adapting to new environments.
Campers at High Rocks learn to take responsibility for their daily tasks. From getting up in the morning and making their beds to picking up their belongings and taking turns with community chores, they learn valuable life skills. And yes, they’re also learning about personal hygiene and how to care for themselves. All of this happens every single day.
The boys at High Rocks are presented with numerous opportunities and experiences, and while they may want to try everything, they have to make choices about what to pursue. This process of decision-making is crucial for their development, teaching them to evaluate options and choose their path.
Now, you may be asking: why is independence so important? I was listening to a podcast recently, and Morgan Housel shared this insight:
“If you’re used to being assisted, supervised, mandated, or dictated, and then suddenly you experience the glory of independence, the feeling is sensational. Doing something on your own terms can feel better than doing the exact same thing when someone else is peering over your shoulder, telling you what to do, guiding you along.”
This resonates with both children and adults. If you want to do something great, you can’t always have people telling you what you’re doing wrong. Not because they’re wrong, but because they might be playing a completely different game. We all have different goals, and not everyone wants the same things.
As parents, we often walk a fine line when it comes to how much independence we want to give our children. Of course, we want to teach them values—philosophical, moral, cultural, and religious values—that we hope they will one day carry forward. But there will come a time when they will need to choose their direction for themselves, and that time may come sooner than we expect.
For me, I believe that presenting these values in ways that allow for independent thought and open discussion is key. If we push too hard, our children may fail to think for themselves and simply choose what’s most appealing at the moment—whether that’s people, ideas, or trends. It may work, but it may not.
At High Rocks, we offer campers freedoms like choosing activities and managing their time. But there’s structure too, helping them understand the importance of boundaries and following rules. This balance creates an environment where campers learn to be independently thoughtful and responsible.
Our hope at High Rocks is that we help these boys grow into adults who can think for themselves, without feeling the constant need to impress others or conform. This sense of independence—rooted in confidence and self-awareness—will not only serve them well financially but will lead to a deeper, more meaningful sense of happiness.
That said, it’s not that we don’t want them to care about others. It’s that we want them to be accountable to themselves first and foremost. That’s when they become their best selves.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: independence isn’t so much about teaching; it’s about giving. Giving them the space, opportunities, and support to grow on their own. I hope this little piece helps.
– Don Gentle
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